The Post-Traumatic Growth Workbook by Tedeschi Richard G & Moore Bret A

Author:Tedeschi, Richard G & Moore, Bret A
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: PSY022040 Psychology / Psychopathology / Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (ptsd), SEL031000 Self-help / Personal Growth / General, SEL043000 Self-help / Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (ptsd)
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2016-12-01T05:00:00+00:00

You may notice two general themes in these statements about how relationships with others may change as a result of trauma. One is that your trauma has helped you see that you can count on others and accept their help. This is an aspect of growth because there is strength in being able to accept help. Men especially have often grown up with the idea that accepting help is a sign of weakness. Consequently, growth for many men involves the recognition that you can deal with difficulties more effectively if you seek help or accept it when offered. While men are prone to this idea that they must be weak if they need help, they are also raised to believe that teamwork is important. Thinking of accepting help as part of a team may make it easier for men. At some point, all of us need other people, and the acceptance of our need for others is an important lesson that trauma teaches us. Learning to accept your own limitations and vulnerabilities may allow you to appreciate the help of others more.

The other theme is that you can gain a greater appreciation for other people and begin to put more effort into your relationships. You learn that there are others who care about you. And as your compassion grows and your recognition of your own imperfections and needs increases, you have a greater chance of growing closer to other people. This is not to say that in times of need everyone will respond as you wish. Some people may disappoint you. Many survivors of trauma have stories of how people whom they thought they could count on were insensitive or absent. But most often there are some surprises, where people whom you may not have even expected to notice or respond have been especially kind.

Here are some questions to help you enhance your relationships with others in the aftermath of trauma (Tedeschi and Calhoun 1996).

Exercise: Enhancing Your Relationships

Respond to each question in the space provided.

Were there people who pleasantly surprised you when you needed help after or during the traumatic or stressful situation? How can you show your appreciation?

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